There are two things I know to be true. These two facts are unmovable. Pluto is and will always be a planet - I care not about your “science” - and the other Christmas starts AFTER Thanksgiving. Not the week of, not the week before, AFTER Thanksgiving.

We will get to Christmas in a moment - and don’t worry, this won't be some “help you get through the holidays” post. While those are lovely and all that’s not what I’m about this week. I’m more about Pretty Women…

For me, and I think for other HSPs (that’s Highly Sensitive People), being misunderstood is a core fear/worry. I often carry the thoughts of an interaction, email, phone call, text, or event with me long after, wondering if what I said or did was understood as I meant it to be. I feel like Pluto at times, wondering if I am a drift and misunderstood. Am I a planet or something else? I know who I am. I know what I am. I know where I am. But do others? Does that matter?

Part of being an HSP has to do with depth of processing. It’s like having more buckets or pockets to put things in. Think of you had a few bags of Skittles and M&MS, and you were asked to sort them, you might just put one stack on the right and the other on the left. The HSP will do the same but then open the bags and organize them by size and color. This is not to be confused with OCDC or some other disorder this is just the SPS brain like this - if organizational system. Now imagine those Skittles as emotions and the M&Ms as interpersonal interactions.

Big Mistake

Classic movie cinema at its best. Pretty Women. You know the scene. Richard Gere gives Julia Roberts some money to go shopping on Rodeo Drive; she goes around to a few shops but keeps getting put out. They won’t help her. She’s misunderstood. Do you ever feel like that? Like shopping in a place, you don’t belong.

I’ve felt that way most of my life. Like I don’t belong or that I’m just misunderstood. Trying to shop in some store that just won’t let me in. I don’t feel that way as much anymore, but even now, that feeling crawls up my spine.

I suppose it has to do with the HSP's need to categorize. Interpersonal interactions need to be categorized just like anything else. An HSP might leave a social event thinking through every moment, every comment, and every joke. These interactions will run through our minds for days on end.

“Big Mistake.” That’s the line! That’s what she says when she goes back to Rodeo Drive later in the movie, dressed for the part with an appointment. I often wonder if that’s what every HSP wants days after a mistaken event. The thought of going back and helping the other person understand what they meant. “Big mistake.” But not on your part, really… just on mine.

Holiday Time

Okay, on to the holidays. I’m sure, like me, your daily life has been radically changed due to the holiday season. Parties, events, family traditions. Stressful, fun, chaotic, filled with joy - total chaos. But look, with two young kids, it’s a wild blast of unending chaos and joy.

I fear being misunderstood this time of year more than most. More family events, more social gatherings, more time necessary to process sensory input but less time to do so, and, of course, more judgment when you don’t handle it well.

For my family, Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving. No black friday garbage. I don’t care about fake deals. But we love to get up on Friday and GO! Maggie and Ella trade out all the pumpkins and turkeys for the Christmas decor. While the BOYS set up the outside. Around noon, we break for lunch, then set up Bubble Town. Oh yes… more on that to come.

This year, with the kids at the right age, we felt it best to go full Griswald and spring for a real tree. It was glorious and wonderful. We got Bubble Town sorted and the tree all set up with just enough time for The Santa Claus movie. It made for a great day with little time for misunderstandings. What are your holiday traditions and misunderstandings?

I hope you have enjoyed these thoughts for your self-examination. See you next week.

-CT

Unrelated Stuff and Things

Below you will find groups, projects, organizations, programs, and cabins I am passionate about and involved in. I hope it doesn’t come off as shameless self-promotion. All the same, they are important to me so I thought I would share. Feel free to skip them if you like.

Feeling Generous?

Counseling for the Future Foundation and Grant Halliburton Foundation are two amazing non-profits doing some great work in the field of Mental Health. You can help make a difference by giving your time, empathy, and financial support. Learn more by clicking the logos below.

A few things related to mental health:

Check out our latest mental health post on the TCG blog, and learn more about the Empifany app, the Titus Check-In System, and our newly developed Independently Strong course.

The Independently Strong course is designed specifically for spouses or partners who have experienced trauma or abuse within relationships with individuals struggling with substance use disorder. Covering topics such as trauma bonds, identifying characteristics of healthy relationships, understanding the impacts of unhealthy dynamics, boosting self-esteem to align decisions with personal values, establishing boundaries, engaging in self-awareness exercises, and delving into various other crucial aspects, this comprehensive program offers essential guidance and support for healing and empowerment. Learn more about the course here.

Need a Break?

We love going to Broken Bow. It has been a special place for me for a long time and it has been a dream to share this beautiful place with my kids. If you are interested in treating yourself to some relaxing away time up in the pines of Broken Bow feel free to book one of our cabins. There is no greater retreat than the woods.

Okay! That’s all I got. Feel free to send me an email. Anything I can do for you?